I don’t think any of us can even begin to fathom or comprehend the innocence lost in Newton Connecticut yesterday! So many tears shed I am still crying you can’t stop. So many questions the biggest one always being “why”, why would anyone do this especially to a child? One that I am so struggling with is “why” why was it the time for these children they had an entire life waiting ahead for them.  The same question so many of us as parents of children with special needs have asked after suffering loss in our Epilepsy community.

This loss is different in that we sometimes know an underlying reason for it that being Epilepsy or Sudep these parents kissed and hugged their children yesterday morning dropped them off at school probably said see you later and then their entire world was shattered by the horrific evil that took place less than 45 minutes after dropping them off to what was supposed to be a day of fun and learning. It’s just so unimaginable and incomprehensible what took place. All I can think of is the terror, fear and horror these children saw moments before being gunned down, the ones that survived are going to have survivors guilt at some point maybe not so much the littlest victims but the older ones very well might.

How do we talk about this to our children or children that ask us questions? What do we say that does not strike fear but yet is honest and truthful? How do we reassure them that they are safe? All these questions come to mind. I heard a father yesterday say he had just had this conversation with his children last week and he told them Oh don’t worry it could never happen at Sandy Hook, he said last night “I was Wrong”. So what do we say here is a link to an article sent to me by a friend I hope this helps you explain to your children that ask but one thing I can say is let them feel, let them ask questions, let them express they have that right as much as we do as parents.

http://www.kidpower.org/library/article/weapons-schools/

All we can do is try to calm their fears, make them feel as safe as we possibly can in a world where we do have so much violence that is something that we do need to stand up against but that can come in the future as for right now what is important is remembering and honoring the lives lost, the families broken, the hero’s who responded as they will need all of our compassion love and support for all that they saw and witnessed. We need to show Newton Connecticut that the world mourns and grieves with them and for them. It’s supposed to be a joyful celebratory time of year but for Connecticut that all changed in an instant. Grief is a normal and natural process for both adults and children here are some tips or pointers that again may help in situations of loss.

Don’t let them grieve alone
Talk about the Loss
Honesty is always the best Policy

This will help them feel important and useful during this difficult time and by letting them see you share your feelings and emotions it will help them realize it’s ok for them too. Be the source of comfort they need. To the parents of those beautiful children the world lost all I can say is what I have written so many times before when one of our special and beautiful children have passed and that is when a child dies, it is one of the hardest things in life to understand. We have lost so many beautiful children and again we are looking into the tearful eyes of their parents, and we see one another. We know that without divine help, we could not bear that pain. We think about a precious life snatched away before it was fully formed, like a flower snipped from the stem just as it was beginning to bloom. We question “Why” but only God knows the real answer to that question.

If I can offer any peace or comfort to the parents of Newton as its so hard words never come easy and people really do not know what to say I can offer you this. I offered this to many parents and friends who sadly and recently lost a beautiful child and I believe in my heart for this to be true. Always remember the good times, their were many, always remember they loved you, they did, always remember those infectious smiles, its in your hearts beating. Remember that even though they are no longer physically with us they have never left you, they are in your heart and soul, when you look up to the heavens at night and you see the brightest star sparkling like diamonds in the sky that is your children winking at you saying “Hey Mom & Dad don’t worry I am doing great, you taught me that” when you see a rainbow after a storm that is your children telling you “Thank you for calming my fears and for seeing the beauty in me through my eyes” When you hear the rain that is your children telling you “Hey don’t cry you gave me the best of everything, you gave me the best thing a child ever needed a family” celebrate there life for their is much for you to celebrate and know that one day you will see them again and what an occasion that will be.

“WHEN GOD CALLS LITTLE CHILDREN”

When God calls little children
to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of his love
For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud,
before he can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so he takes but a few
To make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still
somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be “Goodbye.”
So when a little child departs
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

This is an amazing rendition of Amazing Grace sung by an amazing little Christian Gospel Singer by the name of Rhema Marvanne I hope in some way it brings you comfort as their truly are just no words to describe the pain our world feels for you all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDlxmsciqY

From my own family and all of us at the Epilepsy Warriors Foundation we we want to extend our deepest condolences to all the Families during this most difficult of times. We love you and your in our thoughts and prayers. Gone but never forgotten. “God of light thank you for helping to guide us out of the darkness of pain and grief that occurred after the loss of our beautiful children. Now that they are gone every single memory is both precious and holy. Bless each memory we have of our children so that they will continue to live on in our hearts and minds forever.” May God Bless you all!

We remember with much love and affection from around the world:
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Rachel Davino, 29
OliviaEngel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Dawn Hocksprung, 47
Madeline Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Lauren Russeau, 30
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison Wyatt, 6